Don't know how to do it? Well, fuck, you are stupid, aren't you? Here's a handy checklist to get you through the truly miserable ordeal you're about to experience. Feel free to print it out and carry it with you all day to keep track of your progress.

        ☐ Go to your voting place
        ☐ Pick the person you want to be President
        ☐ Pick the other people you want to be other things
        ☐ Leave your voting place
        ☐ LIVE ON AS A TRUE AMERICAN HERO

You know what, fuck it. You can even skip step four if you want. Just collapse right there on the floor of that gymnasium in a fit of pure democragasm. That's alright, it happens to the best of us. The best of us, of course, being those who vote. Because, as everyone knows, those who do not vote, are the fucking worst of us.

What's that? You don't know where to go to vote? Oh, well, you're right. That truly is a completely insurmountabl-- OH FUCK WAIT NO IT'S NOT 1912 ANYMORE WE HAVE THE INTERNET NOW.

Fig 1. An example of a thing that is not fucking hard to figure out.

You think you can handle that, genius? No? Can't figure out the complicated form? That's okay, Google's got your dumbass back, and they don't even need you to type your address, because they already know where the hell you live.

I was talking to the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt the other day, and he told me a story about a guy who didn't vote in the last election. He told me, "Pope, I just straight up bitch smacked that man about the face with my both massively erect and somehow still-corporeal democra-penis^[2] for a good seven hours. I just couldn't help myself. I mean, for god's sake. The man didn't vote. What a stupid asshole." I agreed with the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt. People who don't vote deserve to be smacked around by the genitals of an American legend.

We give voting: 9001 FUCKING GO DO ITs out of I SWEAR TO GOD JUST VOTE FOR SOMEONE HOLY SHIT.

[1] If you're not a US citizen, go vote whenever you people vote. Whatever, I'm not your mom.
[2] Democra-penis only available to those who vote. Get yours while supplies last.

We here at DrunkReviews have carefully analyzed the arguments and available information on this subject, and come to a deeply well-informed opinion. Not to put too fine a point on it, but

SOPA CAN GO FUCK ITSELF.

AND THE PIPA IT RODE IN ON.

You'll notice that the rest of the site is "blacked out." If SOPA passes, it won't just be a clever redirect to a petition site, and it won't just be for a single day. It'll be impossible for sites like ours to even exist anymore.

No, seriously. Click here to learn more and do something about it.

The Ragefaces Emoticons let you use 84 different ragefaces as smileys. Of course, only people who have the plugin installed will see them as emoticons; everyone else will have no idea why you keep IMing them "pickletime." So spread the word, get these out to the masses, and let's get FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Click your chat app to download:

Installing

Pidgin - Instructions

Digsby - Instructions

Adium - open the ragefaces.AdiumEmoticonset, and that's it

Ubuntu, you say? Even easier!

As root, just add our ppa and install the package:

add-apt-repository ppa:cwayne18/rage && apt-get update && apt-get install pidginfuu

Then you can select the Ragefaces theme by going to: Pidgin Edit>Preferences>Theme

Wouldn't it be nice to express your anger on the command line when something doesn't work the way you want? I agree. And that's why we are starting the Global FUCK Counter Initiative. It all started with this Google+ post, and has taken off from there. At the time of this writing, there are 102682 fucks given overall.

Want to join in the fun? We've created our own synchronized mirror (in case the original fails for any reason) as well as easy copypasta if you need a hand in getting the ball rolling. You will of course likely want to run this as root.

echo "curl poordecisions.net/fuck" > /usr/bin/fuck && chmod +x /usr/bin/fuck

And just like that, any time you say "fuck" in your command line, the count will be increased. Hell, even include the thing as an exec for when shit breaks in your apps or websites. DR itself is soon to have an update allowing it to increment the count every time it's upset about something. Let's see just how much us nerds rage in our Terminals.

I give cwayne's new Mustang a rating of one dose of horse rape out of a seriously awful way to die.